Changes: PlayStation 3

Revision as of 18:54, 23 May 2009

NOGAEMZ LAWL.

Seriously though, I kid. The PS3 has several worthwhile exclusive games, ranging from just "okay" to "great". The only major problem is that Sonydudes are so desperate for the game will define the PS3 like Halo and Project Gotham and so on did for the Xbox that they build up every release as the second coming. Go in expecting an decent game but nothing more, and you'll have fun with each of these.

SHOOTAN

Resistance: Fall of ManWhile it inevitably suffers from Launch Title Syndrome, it's a rather solid FPS with some pretty cool aliens.
Resistance 2: Second verse, same as the first. It's not the Halo 2 that Sony was hoping it'd be, but hey, it ain't bad. Ending's kind of a downer, but they've improved on basically everything in Resistance 1.
Killzone 2: Story's nothing to brag about, but this is probably the closest thing the PS3'll have to a defining FPS. Solid all around with great multiplayer.
SOCOM Confrontation: I've honestly not played this, but I've heard it's good.
Warhawk: Decent dogfights and land battles. Plus, free bluetooth headset!
Time Crisis 4: It's Time Crisis. Get it.

Action/Adventure

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction: Great platforming with crazy-ass weapons, funny and pretty. What's not to like?
Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty: Shorter than ToD, but it's cheap and fun, much like your mother. Also pirates.
Heavenly Sword: This one's more of a rental, but hey, it's God of War with a hot chick and a kinky feral sniper girl.
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots: Fucking manly tears. The end of Solid Snake's story and a great game. Multiplayer's kinda iffy, but hey, it's free.
LittleBigPlanet: DIY platforming narrated by Stephen Fry. Fuck year.
Ninja Gaiden Sigma: A PS3 port of Ninja Gaiden Black, this game will bend you over its knee and violate you repeatedly with a sword.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune: Tomb Raider minus the tits. A fun game with a story straight out of a summer adventure flick.
Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm: Yeah, you heard me. The Naruto games are actually really good, and this one's exceptionally pretty to boot.
InFamous: A cool superhero sandbox game. Not much else to say.

Racing

Gran Turismo 5 Prologue: Something to tide you over while Polyphony takes its sweet-ass time on the real GT5.
Formula One Championship Edition Another one I haven't played but heard great shit about.
Ridge Racer 7: It's Ridge Racer. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACERRRRRRRRRR.
MotorStorm: Crazy-ass ATV racing.
MotorStorm: Pacific Rift: More crazy-ass ATV Racing.

RPG

Valkyria Chronicles: World War II - Anime Edition. A neat blend of RPG, action, and Turn-Based Strategy, and the art's fucking gorgeous.
Disgaea 3: Grindan and demons and shit. If you're a weaboo, what's not to like?
Demon's Souls: Oblivion meets Shadow of the Colossus, JRPG style. What more could you want? Not out in America until this fall, but PS3 plays US and JP games fine. Go import it.
White Knight Story: Also not out in America yet. Some crazy giant robot fantasy shit.
Cross Edge: A crossover game between Capcom, Nippon Ichi, Namco Bandai, Gust, and Idea Factory about cosplay, saving souls, and other crazy shit. And HOLY FUCKBALLS IT'S OUT IN AMERICA.

@@ Line 11: / Line 11: @@
-*'''Resistance: Fall of Man''''''<nowiki>:</nowiki> '''While it inevitably suffers from Launch Title Syndrome, it's a rather solid FPS with some pretty cool aliens.
+*'''Resistance: Fall of Man'''While it inevitably suffers from Launch Title Syndrome, it's a rather solid FPS with some pretty cool aliens.
 *'''Resistance 2: '''Second verse, same as the first. It's not the Halo 2 that Sony was hoping it'd be, but hey, it ain't bad. Ending's kind of a downer, but they've improved on basically everything in Resistance 1.
 *'''Killzone 2: '''Story's nothing to brag about, but this is probably the closest thing the PS3'll have to a defining FPS. Solid all around with great multiplayer.
@@ Line 23: / Line 23: @@
 *'''Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction: '''Great platforming with crazy-ass weapons, funny and pretty. What's not to like?
-*'''Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty''''''<nowiki>:</nowiki>''' Shorter than ToD, but it's cheap and fun, much like your mother.
+*'''Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty: '''Shorter than ToD, but it's cheap and fun, much like your mother. Also pirates.
 *'''Heavenly Sword: '''This one's more of a rental, but hey, it's God of War with a hot chick and a kinky feral sniper girl.
-*'''Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots: '''Fucking manly tears. The end of Solid Snake's story and a great game. Buy it, faggot.
+*'''Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots: '''Fucking manly tears. The end of Solid Snake's story and a great game. Multiplayer's kinda iffy, but hey, it's free.
 *'''LittleBigPlanet: '''DIY platforming narrated by Stephen Fry. Fuck year.
 *'''Ninja Gaiden Sigma: '''A PS3 port of Ninja Gaiden Black, this game will bend you over its knee and violate you repeatedly with a sword.
-*'''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune: '''Tomb Raider minus the ttis. A fun game that plays like a summer adventure flick.
+*'''Uncharted: Drake's Fortune: '''Tomb Raider minus the tits. A fun game with a story straight out of a summer adventure flick.
 *'''Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm: '''Yeah, you heard me. The Naruto games are actually really good, and this one's exceptionally pretty to boot.
 *'''InFamous: '''A cool superhero sandbox game. Not much else to say.
@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 *'''Gran Turismo 5 Prologue: '''Something to tide you over while Polyphony takes its sweet-ass time on the real GT5.
-*'''Formula One Championship Edition''''''<nowiki>:</nowiki> '''Another one I haven't played but heard great shit about.
+*'''Formula One Championship Edition '''Another one I haven't played but heard great shit about.
-*'''Ridge Racer 7: '''It's Ridge Racer. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
+*'''Ridge Racer 7: '''It's Ridge Racer. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACERRRRRRRRRR.
 *'''MotorStorm: '''Crazy-ass ATV racing.
-*'''MotorStorm: Pacific Rift: '''More crazy-ss ATV Racing.
+*'''MotorStorm: Pacific Rift: '''More crazy-ass ATV Racing.
 == RPG ==
@@ Line 47: / Line 47: @@
 *'''Valkyria Chronicles: '''World War II - Anime Edition. A neat blend of RPG, action, and Turn-Based Strategy, and the art's fucking gorgeous.
-*'''Disgaea 3: '''Grindan and demons and shit. Do it, faggot.
+*'''Disgaea 3: '''Grindan and demons and shit. If you're a weaboo, what's not to like?
-*'''Demon's Souls: '''Oblivion meets Shadow of the Collosus, JRPG style. What more could you want? Not out in America until this fall, but PS3 plays US and JP games fine, so import it, fag.
+*'''Demon's Souls: '''Oblivion meets Shadow of the Colossus, JRPG style. What more could you want? Not out in America until this fall, but PS3 plays US and JP games fine. Go import it.
 *'''White Knight Story: '''Also not out in America yet. Some crazy giant robot fantasy shit.
 *'''Cross Edge: '''A crossover game between Capcom, Nippon Ichi, Namco Bandai, Gust, and Idea Factory about cosplay, saving souls, and other crazy shit. And HOLY FUCKBALLS IT'S OUT IN AMERICA.